If you’ve been to a movie theatre in this decade, you’ve probably had your ears violated by the wonderful creation that is Movie Tunes.

In case you weren’t paying attention, or the theatre you went to doesn’t participate in the Movie Tunes program, I’ll explain what it is and why it’s so aweful.

Movie Tunes is an audio CD that is played in theatre lobbies and sometimes as intermission audio between shows. The Movie Tunes disc, as the name suggests, is a selection of songs from current and upcoming features meant to provide auditory entertainment while waiting for your movie to start. Unfortunately, it contains very little music from a motion poicture soundtrack. Instead, we’re presented with hits from broadway musicals that have been out for years, country hits from backwater nowhere, and pop hits consisting of the most annoying hooks repeated over and over and over and over and over and over…

It probably wouldn’t be too bad if the songs only played every other hour or so, but the Movie Tunes disc is only 40 minutes long, so after being at work for eight hours, you’ve heard each song at least 12 times. To top it off, we get a new disc every month, but they only change two songs and slightly rearrange the current songs.

Can you imagine hearing the same music 40 hours a week for an entire year?

It’s enough to make me want to murder someone.

Creatively, I would break the Movie Tunes discs into sharp shards and use them as the murder weapons. It would be awesome.