Kitty Poops!
for very good dogs

Most people who have ever owned a cat and a dog (at the same time) know that dogs are strangely attracted to the scent and flavor of a disgusting cat turd.

Many dogs will do anything to get their faces into the litter boxes of their house trained feline companions. Now, thanks to Dog Dreams Baking Company, based in Portland, Oregon, this activity can be further encouraged with Kitty Poops! An organic dog treat the company describes as pooptastic. Reward your dog with a delicious cat loaf!

Seriously.

You can order them here.

To: All Employees
From: Vice President
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you dod not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, they are full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

Sarah Palin
i can has vise prezident?

I know that it’s been going on for a few days, but I had to point something out.

Since McCain’s loss on November 4^th, there have been news stories published regarding claims by anonymous McCain aides that, for sake of summary, Sarah Palin is a total idiot and was the sole reason McCain lost the election.

I’m under the impression that, since her nomination as VP running mate for McCain, she has not been involved in a medically relevant cause of brain damage or mental retardation. What I mean to say is that she was most likely an idiot before she was given the VP nod. Her lack of intelligence is not a new development, nor was it hidden from public view until recently.

My point is that, since Sarah Palin is an idiot and was an idiot before being nominated, then the real idiot must be the one that picked her. The real idiot would be John McCain. McCain’s aides are really saying that McCain is an idiot. Awesome.

Yesterday, I posted my observations on women who shave their eyebrows and paint them back on, and I photoshopped an image of Angelina Jolie to illustrate a point. You can look back on that post here: Shaved Eyebrows Are Sexy.

In the post, I stopped editing the Angelina Jolie picture after I had painted on her new eyebrows. For this post, I’ve gone all the way and transformed Angelina into a clown in full makeup.

I had a lot of fun doing this manipulation, and it’s been a while since I’ve really done anything in Photoshop, so this was a much needed break from the norm. Even if only for 20 minutes.

Angelina Jolie
Clowning Around

Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.” The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

I find investing in the stock market just as smart as buying money. You’ve seen the commercials on TV. They sell silver dollars for $25 each , and each silver dollar is worth $1.47 sold as silver and $1.00 if you spend it as money. You spend the $100 now on four of these silver dollars, and when you’re flat broke and have nothing but those silver dollars left , you have successfully invested your $100 of savings in $4.00 worth of pocket change. It’s not like you can pawn them either. The guy at the pawn shop will look at your four silver dollars and give you $2.75 in cash for it. Much like a stock broker!

The geniuses at FrighteningProspect.com have created an awesome wheat-pasting campaign poster, which highlights the hubris of Sarah Palin in stunning fashion.

VOTE
frighteningprospect.com

As if the amazing poster wasn’t enough, the following video shows the humor of the bad decision made by McCain to nominate Palin as his VP running mate. It’s not that it was a bad decision to nominate a woman, but that it was a bad decision to nominate that woman. If you consider the speculation that Palin’s nomination was strictly a sexist attempt to pander to women voters, it makes it all the more funny. This video is brought to you by OneHottMess.com. Enjoy.

And last, but certainly not least, the following video is via MiniMovie.com, and is an amazing editing job depicting a dance-off between Obama and McCain. Pure Awesome.

a-ha – Take On Me

Tears for Fears – Head Over Heels