My Bloody Valentine 3D
Get your heart broken

I was very excited when we got our digital print in early enough on Wednesday to get it loaded up and cued for screening. I was even more excited when I started watching the movie, and the 3D was the best I have ever seen.

Plot: Ten years after the massacre that claimed the lives of several of his friends and classmates, Tom (Jensen Ackles, Supernatural) returns to his hometown to sell the family mine. Soon after his return, people begin dying – apparent victims of the murderous miner Harry Warden. Except Harry Warden has been dead for ten years. Tom becomes suspect number one, and the only one who believes that he is innocent is his former high school sweetheart, Sarah (Jaime King, Sin City), who is now married to the town sheriff, Axel (Kerr Smith, Dawson’s Creek). My Bloody Valentine 3D is a remake of the 1981 film.

You can view the trailer here.

While the story was total rubbish, no one is going to see a horror movie of this magnitude for the story. People are going so they can see the murder, gore, and thrills. My Bloody Valentine 3D has murder, gore and thrills in spades. However, don’t just watch My Bloody Valentine in 2D. To experience the full quality of this movie, you have to see the 3D version.

For those who say they don’t like 3D movies, or the experiences they have had with previous 3D films makes them never want to watch another one, you will not be disappointed by going to see this movie. I recommend calling ahead to your local theatre and asking if they use digital projection with RealD. If they do, GO SEE THIS MOVIE! The 3D is in full color, and uses special technology to present the 3D with full depth and clarity. Jump scenes, where things fly out at you, are really just that. They will make you jump. If you’ve never experienced a pick-axe to the face, now is your chance – and it’s really the only safe way to experience it.

Also, as a special note, if you notice that the movie looks better with the glasses upside down, inform someone from management that the polarity is reversed and projection should flip the polarity switch on the back of the RealD processor. It will save you the headache, and it will look a thousand times better.

Saw V
You won't believe how it ends.

I put off writing this review, for the most part, to see if my opinion improved over time. It hasn’t.

Saw V stars Man A from Saw IV and Man B from Saw III and Saw IV. It doesn’t matter what their names are. It’s not relevant.

The Breakdown: [Semi Spoiler Free] Man A continues his part in the game from Saw IV and actually survives his impossible trap because of his ingenious idea. Man B saves the little girl missing from Saw IV and becomes the hero.

Man A suspects that Jigsaw had an accomplice, and sets out to find him. Using past case reports, Man A revisits previous games. Meanwhile, a new game has begun. The only game in the movie, and what a shit game it is.

Man B tracks Man A and, as if you couldn’t figure it out by now, it is revealed that Man B is the protege of Jigsaw.

The movie ends in a confrontation between Man A and Man B, and the single game in the movie also concludes.

You won’t believe how it ends. Bullshit. It doesn’t end.

The tag line for the movie is total crap considering, if you’ve seen the previous Saw movies, they always leave room for a sequel. It also doesn’t help that they announced production of Saw VI before Saw V came out.

Essentially, if you’ve seen the previous Saw movies, you’ve seen this one. You’re not missing much if you decide to skip this one.