Sarah Palin
i can has vise prezident?

I know that it’s been going on for a few days, but I had to point something out.

Since McCain’s loss on November 4^th, there have been news stories published regarding claims by anonymous McCain aides that, for sake of summary, Sarah Palin is a total idiot and was the sole reason McCain lost the election.

I’m under the impression that, since her nomination as VP running mate for McCain, she has not been involved in a medically relevant cause of brain damage or mental retardation. What I mean to say is that she was most likely an idiot before she was given the VP nod. Her lack of intelligence is not a new development, nor was it hidden from public view until recently.

My point is that, since Sarah Palin is an idiot and was an idiot before being nominated, then the real idiot must be the one that picked her. The real idiot would be John McCain. McCain’s aides are really saying that McCain is an idiot. Awesome.

The geniuses at FrighteningProspect.com have created an awesome wheat-pasting campaign poster, which highlights the hubris of Sarah Palin in stunning fashion.

VOTE
frighteningprospect.com

As if the amazing poster wasn’t enough, the following video shows the humor of the bad decision made by McCain to nominate Palin as his VP running mate. It’s not that it was a bad decision to nominate a woman, but that it was a bad decision to nominate that woman. If you consider the speculation that Palin’s nomination was strictly a sexist attempt to pander to women voters, it makes it all the more funny. This video is brought to you by OneHottMess.com. Enjoy.

And last, but certainly not least, the following video is via MiniMovie.com, and is an amazing editing job depicting a dance-off between Obama and McCain. Pure Awesome.

What followed was nothing less than pure magic.

I have included the video below.

I don’t know about you, but I’m voting twice just because she told me to. And if you’re wondering how I’m planning on voting, just watch this next video.

I’m good at following instructions. Starting tomorrow, I begin my 3-pack a day cigarette habit. And I think I’m going to peruse the classifieds to find a really really old horse.

The real question: WWJD? Fortunately, we have an amazing video to show you the answer!

And by the way, WWJD stands for “What Would Joker Do?“

Video VIA {Overthinkingit.com}

An American Carol
Laugh Like Your Country Depends on It

I’d like to know how I keep ending up with these political movies, but here I am again with my movie review for An American Carol.

The trailer promises a parody of Michael Moore, and delivers fantastically. Kevin Farley is Michael Malone, documentary filmmaker and douche bag extraordinaire. Pure awesome. However, the movie itself is so extreme in its ideology that the movie plays out horribly.

Most of the comedy tries to mimic the outrageous humor of a Mel Brooks film but fails miserably, and I must admit that I did not laugh once during the film. The single humorous moment in the movie, which still did not make me laugh, was actually taken from The Onion Movie, and I didn’t laugh because I was angry that they couldn’t come up with their own “Terrorist Training Video” so they got help from another film.

The things I can say I took away from this film, if I were to believe anything I have seen or heard, is that going to war is the only way to fix a problem, civil rights should be taken away at any point that the government decides they are no longer necessary, and that you are not American if you don’t like country music.

Unfortunately, I think there are very few reasons to go to war – which is to say that I’m not against war – but most of the time a diplomatic approach is best, basic civil rights should never be taken away for any reason, as people are far less civil when you take away their rights, and I hate country music so I must not be an American after all.

Down to the basics, do not see this movie unless you are a devout Republican with a drinking problem that not only destroyed a significant portion of your liver but also destroyed a large portion of your working brain cells and you will laugh at everything but taxes for rich people and welfare for the poor. Also, be sure to bring your own gin or vodka and vermouth, as most concession stands don’t have a full liquor bar.

Proud American
It's about what binds us as Americans, not what separates us.

I did not want to do a review of this movie, Proud American, mostly because it made me so angry I just wanted to forget about it.

Now, a week after seeing it, I realize that maybe I can save someone from sitting through it if I explained what this movie was. Thus, this movie review was written.

First off, forget everything you see in the trailer. It’s all crap. Now forget the “stunning cinematography” of the movie, since most of the movie looks like it was filmed on a set with a TV camera. Let’s jump right to the point of the movie:

While showing the nation’s spectacular landmarks and engineering marvels, historical sites and natural wonders, Proud American is really about the American people. The film will portray America as a land of opportunity, and tolerance. First seen through the eyes of new American citizens we hear why they came, how they came and what they appreciate most. Things many of us take for granted. Drama, spectacle, and humor are woven into a fast paced film, which delivers chills, actions, tears and warmth. Unlike any film ever made about America, it comes at a time when America needs it most. Uplifting, Powerful, Amazing, True.

- The Proud American official website

In reality, what you get is four true stories of personal success in America. Four sugar-coated, end-of-the-rainbow stories of “success” that are the least likely of all outcomes for each situation.

The point of the movie is to show that Americans are the most generous and caring people in the world. Anyone watching this movie would believe it’s true, but any American knows that it’s not. America is full of people who behave as any other human being in the world behaves: Like selfish, cold, calculating, manipulative, and devious survivalists. The truth is in the semantics. Anyone following the ideals of being an American is an American that this movie speaks of. Unfortunately, any citizen of the US is considered an American, and most of these citizens follow the survivalist principles. If the person can’t get something out of helping someone, then it’s just not worth it.

I believe myself to be one of the “proud Americans” that this movie speaks of, at least most of the time, but the larger picture is the truth of the matter: Not all Americans are generous, though they have the potential to be, and the true American that lives and breathes inside all Americans rarely makes an appearance.

The real truth is that the pride of a Proud American will always be the backseat driver to the greed of the Greedy American, and it’s sad.

Traitor
The truth is complicated.

Most movie reviews start with the movie, but I’d like to start my reviews with the trailers and other promotional materials. After all, let’s face it, we usually get pulled into watching a movie based on how the trailer looked. So, let’s get started with the trailer for Traitor.

I was very excited after seeing the theatrical trailer for Traitor, knowing that I was probably going to be able to screen it before it opened. The suspense conveyed in the trailer, along with the title of the movie, leave you wondering, “What side is he really on?”

Having watched the movie, I can say the theatrical trailer is only misleading in one aspect: The action. Even the later TV spots for Traitor have emphasized the action in the movie as being second only to the suspense. I’m sorry to say that this is not so.

Traitor is, indeed, very heavy on suspense, which is directly related to the drama unfolding between the characters on screen. Don Cheadle, as Samir Horn, proves to be a master of emotional expression and dramatic flair, as his character – a devout Muslim – stitches together the worlds of Islamic terrorism and Western espionage. Saïd Taghmaoui, as Omar, masterfully walks in the shoes of a terrorist group leader, providing the extremist point-of-view in his character’s interaction with Samir Horn. Guy Pearce and Neal McDonough, as FBI Agents Roy Clayton and Max Archer, push the story forward from the American perspective by attempting to capture the terrorist responsible for several worldwide bombings, and to hopefully prevent such a bombing in the United States.

I definitely spent most of the movie internally debating the alignment of Samir, while trying to fully absorb the underlying message behind the movie. I definitely didn’t predict the climax of the movie, and I left the movie very satisfied.

I would like to end this review with a summary of what I’ve taken away from this movie.

• Not all Muslims are Arabic, and not all Arabs are Muslim.
• Not all Muslims are terrorists, and not all terrorists are Muslim.
• A devout Muslim is not always a terrorist.
• Not all good things are done for good reasons.
• Not all good ideas lead to good outcomes.

I am proud to be an American, even if I’m not proud of the American government. I don’t hate Muslims, or any other religious group, and this movie explains why.