Sex Drive
UNRATED DVD

Have you ever bought the UNRATED version of a DVD, only to be disappointed that there was only 7 seconds of extra footage and the UNRATED part was the addition of an extra curse word in a scene that wasn’t needed?

I thought Sex Drive was going to be another one of those UNRATED “buy this DVD” promotion just to suck in extra sales, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it’s not! See what’s different »

The Day the Earth Stood Still

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I had my choice as to which movie I was going to screen last night, and I had to choose from Nothing Like the Holidays, Delgo, and The Day the Earth Stood Still. I thought I was picking the shiniest turd in the toilet bowl, but I’m sure I was wrong now.

As great as an “end of the world” movie staring Keanu Reeves sounds, I was left more disappointed than I thought I would be.

The Day the Earth Stood Still is a remake of the 1951 movie of the same name, which was based on the short story Farewell to the Master by Harry Bates. While I haven’t seen the 1951 version, I have read the short story. This modern version focuses less on the self-destructive nature of humans, and instead focuses on the destructive nature of mankind towards all other things – namely the environment and other life forms.

For being a main character, Keanu Reeves did not have much screen time. The story seemed to revolve mostly around Jennifer Connelly’s character Helen. While the acting in the movie left a lot to be desired, it was the CGI that really killed this movie.

The swarm that is seen in the trailer is a collective of insects that destroy and assimilate everything in its path. Unfortunately, they make it a point to repeatedly show you that it is a swarm of insects by zooming in on a few individuals, and the individual insects looked like crap. The spheres look like low-res cloud and fiber motion renderings that shoot god beams everywhere. They even used a CGI rendering of a Keanu stand-in to show the “birth” of Klaatu in his human body. Whatever happened to actors getting covered in slime to do a scene, instead of getting a virtual actor to get covered in slime in a CGI rendering of a scene?

I didn’t completely hate the movie. I just didn’t like the story, the acting, the effects, or the script. I thought the underlying plot was good. The execution was lacking, but that can be blamed on all of the things I already mentioned. The movie felt like a CGI laden version of The Happening, which made it bad.

It looks like Boost Mobile is continuing its trend of shit commercials that annoy the hell out of me. This time, they’ve chosen to change it up and offer a duo of commercials starring Georgie, a play on George Washington and the dollar bill. Now, instead of Boost Mobile being the hip choice, Boost Mobile is selling itself as the cheap choice in cellular service.

The only positive thing I can say about the new ad campaign is that they seem to have dropped the Where You At? slogan. At least for now.

Everything else I can say is negative. I watched a behind-the-scenes video on the Georgie ad campaign and I was not impressed. You can’t have George Washington spew slang to push the great value of a dollar in the new pricing plans and expect to sell me on it. To start, Georgie sounds mentally challenged. He’s trying to rap, but he sounds like a douche trying to make himself seem more important than he actually is. To top it off, these commercials play as often as any other Boost Mobile commercial has ever played, so it repeatedly violates my eardrums. I have to wonder how much money Boost Mobile is pushing into these ad campaigns and what the return rate is.

Here’s an analogy for you: Georgie is to George Washington as Kanye West is to Elvis Presley.

If I only had $30 each month to spend on a cell phone and Boost Mobile was the only provider with a plan I could afford, I would only have a cell phone every other month because I would use two months of cell phone savings to pay for a single month of another provider.

I just realized something. Boost Mobile is abbreviated BM. So is bowel movement. That’s pure summary right there.

Role Models
Danny and Wheeler were just sentenced to 150 hours mentoring kids.
Worst idea ever.

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This is going to be a rather short review, as I have to leave for work in a few minutes, but I wanted to get this written.

I wanted to see Role Models after I watched the red band trailer, and now – having seen the movie – I can say that it wasn’t as funny as I expected, but it was definitely funny.

The teaming of Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd was perfect, and the choice for the kids was great, but the movie seemed like a comedic drama instead of a comedy. It had all of the base ingredients of a Judd Apatow comedy, but the recipe wasn’t quite right. It just proves that you can imitate, but you can’t replicate.

So, here’s the quick summary: Danny (Paul) and Wheeler (Seann) work for an energy drink company, promoting their energy drink at schools while telling kids to stay off of drugs. An incident forces the two into 150 hours of community service, to be carried out at Sturdy Wings – a Big Brother / Big Sister type organization. Each is assigned a very special kid with their own special problems, and hijinx ensue.

Overall, I would watch the movie again, but I don’t think I missed anything from the first viewing, so I don’t expect any extra laughs.

A while back I happened upon an animated GIF that I meant to post, but I got sidetracked and it got misplaced. Today, I found the GIF and converted it so it would display properly on this site. Watch it below, and you can download the original GIF file below the video.

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I'm the Goddamn Batman (Version GIF) - 309 Hits